J U L I E M O R L E Y
Psychotherapy, Counselling, Coaching and Women's Stress Consultancy
Deeping St James & Market Deeping, Peterborough
Enhancing your Relationship Pre-Sensate Exercise
If you are seeeing this page then it is likely that your relatinship is ready for a change in direction and has some space to add something new. Your new addition could be described as a pre- Sensate Focus exercise. Your task is to introduce to your partner a regular time where you both spend a little time, from 20 minutes to up to an hour every week at a pre-arranged regular time EG Sunday night.
The angle is just a bit of fun. This is not a serious strict exercise and you are not to talk or discuss relationship issues or the day's stresses. You will need to stay only in the moment and focus on the here and now only. Here it is:
Try to keep this excise light and fun and don't rush.
If at any time anyone wants to stop, then gently tell the other person you need to break for a minute. The other person needs to NOT take this personally but allow the other person the freedom to withdraw.
The withdrawing person, take your space, allow yourself to settle and then let the other person know that you are ready to carry on or describe what you need instead. This could be a cuddle, just holding or you might feel you need to cover up or you may need to stop. (This can include if one or both of you get sexually aroused and it is too distracting)